Silence Isn't Always Golden
by iamthe-lizard-king
Summary: After shelling, and seeing someone die, Hawkeye is depressed and won't speak to anybody. Can Sidney break the silence?
1. Some R&R

Silence Isn't Always Golden  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with M*A*S*H blah blah blah blah blah.  
  
Author's Note: I tried. I haven't been watching that long, so if anything isn't right tell me.  
Chapter 1  
"Thanks again Henry. I really needed this."  
  
Hawkeye threw his bag into the back of the jeep.  
  
"Well, you probably don't deserve it, but knowing you you'll fake insanity again."  
  
"Why Henry, I would never do such a thing!"  
  
"Just get in the jeep."  
  
"See ya. I'll send you a postcard from Tokyo."  
  
Hawkeye waved one last time as the jeep drove off and got ready for two days with no surgery, no reassembling soldiers, and most of all no Frank.  
  
"So how come I don't get a break?" Trapper followed Henry around the camp.  
  
"You got one last week!"  
  
"Oh. Right. I still don't think it's fair!"  
  
Henry rolled his eyes and headed toward the office. "You can't fool me McIntyre, I know you don't think."  
  
"Hello sir." Radar looked up from the papers he was organizing.  
  
"Hey Radar."  
  
"Uh sir, I need you to sign these papers."  
  
He followed Henry into his office and handed him the papers as he sat down.  
  
"What are they for?" he asked as he signed them.  
  
"Oh, they're so we can get more forms for you to sign so Klinger can get a new dress."  
  
Henry stopped and looked at Radar.  
  
"Thank you sir." Radar quickly grabbed the papers and left.  
  
Henry leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples.  
  
"So, you gettin a couple of days off huh?" the driver asked Hawkeye.  
  
"Yup, no more standing for 36 hours poking at a kids liver. Not for 2 days anyway."  
  
Over the next half hour, the two learned a lot about each other, Hawkeye telling him about Crabapple and his dad, and the driver telling him about his wife and baby son he couldn't wait to get home to.  
  
Hawkeye opened his mouth to say something else, but he never got the chance. A huge explosion flipped the jeep over and blew dust everywhere, making it impossible for them to see anything for the moment. Hawkeye coughed and rubbed the dust out of his eyes.  
  
"You O.K.?"  
  
The driver coughed and a puff of dust flew from his mouth.  
  
"Yeah I think so."  
  
He checked to make sure all his limbs were still attached.  
  
Another massive explosion was heard and they covered their heads with their arms.  
  
Hawkeye coughed again and looked up.  
  
"Man, we gotta get outta here."  
  
Another shell was dropped and another explosion was heard.  
  
"On second thought maybe we should stay here."  
  
He turned to the driver.  
  
"Is anyone else around?"  
  
"I dunno, I didn't see anybody."  
  
They both slowly got to their knees and looked around. Another explosion rocked the ground and they grabbed onto the overturned jeep.  
  
Henry was tearing apart his desk, searching for the pen his wife had given him.  
  
Radar walked in.  
  
"RADA- Radar, where's my pen?"  
  
"It's in your desk drawer sir."  
  
"Of course it is."  
  
Radar picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"What?" Henry mouthed, confused.  
  
"Uh, sir it's for you."  
  
He took the phone.  
  
"Hello? Uh huh. What?! Are you sure? Uh huh. Yep. Alright. Well how am I supposed to have a nice day?"  
  
He hung up the phone and rested his head on his desk.  
  
"What is it sir?"  
  
"They said there's shelling in the area that Hawkeye's in."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"And then the fool told me to have a nice day! I mean, what kind on an idiot would say that?!"  
  
"Calm down sir."  
  
"What're we supposed to do? Pierce is out there!"  
  
"Well, we can't really do anything sir."  
  
"I know, I know. I just wish there was some way to know if he was alright."  
  
"I'm sure he is."  
  
"Well, you know everything else, so you must know this. I just hope this isn't the one thing you're wrong about."  
  
Hawkeye brushed the dirt from his hair and looked around again.  
  
"Hey I think I see something!"  
  
They heard an explosion, this time farther away.  
  
"Do ya think they're goin' away?" the driver asked.  
  
Another explosion, this time closer than anyone would ever want to be to a shell, threw them both forward and buried Hawkeye in a mountain of dirt and weeds.  
  
He pushed his head back to air and coughed repeatedly to clear his lungs.  
  
"I guess not."  
  
He coughed again.  
  
The driver crawled up beside him.  
  
"Can't see anything anymore."  
  
The dust slowly cleared and Hawkeye saw the same shape he saw before.  
  
"I think it's another jeep!"  
  
"Maybe we can get outta here."  
  
"No, we should stay where we are, it could be even more dangerous out there."  
  
"More dangerous than this? I doubt it. And even if we don't move I still wanna find out if someone's out there."  
  
The driver slowly made his was forward keeping as close to the ground as possible.  
  
Yet another explosion knocked him off his feet, but he rubbed his eyes and kept moving.  
  
Hawkeye looked up and saw a plane flying directly overhead.  
  
"Look out!"  
  
Everything seemed to go in slow motion as another shell was dropped. Hawkeye ran as fast as he could, but he didn't get far. It hit the ground and there was a massive explosion. He was thrown forward again, and the overturned jeep landed half on him, half off him.  
  
He groaned and opened his eyes, sat up and dragged himself out from under the jeep. He looked up and didn't see anything or hear anything, so he tried to get up, but a stabbing pain shot through his ribcage. He grunted and fell back down. He lifted his head and saw the driver lying face down on the ground. Holding his chest he dragged himself over, but he didn't have to go too far before he realized he was dead.  
  
He had seen many people die, and seen many bodies that had been blown up. But he hadn't known them, hadn't talked to them, hadn't 'gotten to know' their families.  
  
After a while, the pain was too much and he had to lie down and soon fell asleep.  
  
He awoke in the back of a jeep, which was bumping and jostling him around. Every time the jeep went over a bump, the same stabbing pain shot through him. The jeep went over a particularly large bump and Hawkeye gave a small yelp of pain. The driver looked back and Hawkeye realized it was Klinger. Who else would wear a black women's hat with a veil?  
  
"Oh good, you're awake. I thought you were dead."  
  
Hawkeye said nothing.  
  
"Don't worry, we're almost back at the 4077th. You'll be good as new in no time. Oh, and I got your bag. Your Hawaiian shirt is fine. We were all pretty worried you know. Frank bet Trapper $50 you were dead." Klinger laughed. "He should've just wished. He's gonna blow when he loses 50 bucks. You know how he is with money. Yep. As soon as Henry heard the shelling had stopped, he sent me to go find you. Didn't take me long. Here we are! Home sweet hell. 4077th M*A*S*H."  
  
The jeep pulled into camp and up to a group who cheered when they saw Hawkeye in the back.  
  
"It's good to see you back in one piece Hawk." Trapper helped him out of the jeep.  
  
He slowly tried to make his way to the hospital, pain racking his body with every step he took. And every step he took, he got another pat on the back which sent another jolt of pain. Before long, the pain became too much and he collapsed to the ground, unconscious. 


	2. The Photograph

Chapter 2  
  
He woke up a little while later, bandaged and in bed.  
  
"Hey, you're awake!"  
  
Hawkeye saw Trapper in his yellow bathrobe standing beside him.  
  
"You had a couple of broken ribs, nothing serious, so they let me bring you back to the Swamp."  
  
He went over to the still.  
  
"You wanna drink?"  
  
Hawkeye, staring off into space, said nothing.  
  
"Not thirsty, huh?"  
  
He poured himself a drink and sat on his cot.  
  
"You O.K. Hawk? You haven't said anything since you got back."  
  
He still said nothing.  
  
"Hawkeye what happened? I'm really worried about you!"  
  
Silence.  
  
"C'mon Hawkeye, say something! All right, be a mute. Are you coming to dinner?"  
  
Nothing.  
  
"O.K., but I'm not bringing you back any slop."  
  
He got up and left.  
  
Hawkeye turned and watched the door slam shut, then put his head back down on his pillow and closed his eyes.  
  
Instead of going to the mess tent, Trapper headed straight to Henry's office.  
  
"Henry!"  
  
"What is It now McIntyre?"  
  
"It's Hawkeye, there's something wrong with him,"  
  
Henry stared at him.  
  
"You must think I'm the biggest idiot in the world-"  
  
"No, I mean there's something really wrong with him, he's not saying anything."  
  
"He probably just doesn't want to talk about-"  
  
"He wouldn't even have a drink Henry."  
  
"We'd better get Sidney on the phone. RA-"  
  
"He's on the line sir."  
  
"Thank you Radar."  
  
He picked up the phone.  
  
"Hi, Sidney? It's-"  
  
"I know it's you Henry, what's going on?"  
  
"Oh. Well uh, it's Captain Pierce. He was uh on his way to Tokyo when there was some shelling, and uh, ever since he got back he hasn't said a word. Wouldn't even accept a drink."  
  
"Listen Henry, it's not that I don't care or anything, but I've got so many other people to take care of, I just don't have time for a guy in shock because he saw some bombs explode."  
  
"C'mon Sidney, I think this could be really serious!"  
  
"Alright listen Henry, next time I'm free I'll make a trip down to the 4077th, O.K.?"  
  
"Thanks Sidney! Good luck with all your nut jobs."  
  
"Uh, thanks. I guess."  
  
Henry hung up the phone.  
  
"Well, is he coming?" Trapper asked impatiently.  
  
"He said as soon as he's done with all his other patients he'll make a trip down to the 4077th."  
  
"Henry, do you know how many loonies that guy probably has to deal with? A lot! When the 4077th gains a loony toon it loses a head surgeon!"  
  
"Hey, c'mon, give the guy a break! It's hard dealing with insane people. At least he's gonna come."  
  
"Let's just hope Hawk snaps out of it before his shift. Or worse, his date."  
  
Trapper left his office, and Henry got himself a drink.  
  
"Man, how many times is this guy gonna go insane?"  
  
Later that night Trapper woke up suddenly, for no apparent reason.  
  
"Great, now I'm never gonna get back to sleep."  
  
He heard a noise and turned quickly and saw Hawkeye sitting on the edge of his cot, sipping a martini and looking at a piece of paper he held in his hand.  
  
"Hey Hawkeye, what're you doin'?"  
  
Hawkeye just looked at him, took a deep breath, sipped more of his martini and looked at the piece of paper again.  
  
"What're you looking at? Can I see it?"  
  
He moved towards him, but Hawkeye backed away, clutching the piece of paper to his chest.  
  
"O.K., that's alright, you can keep it."  
  
Hawkeye finished his martini, lay down, and closed his eyes, still holding the paper.  
  
Trapper waited until he fell asleep, then went over and carefully took the paper.  
  
It was actually a photograph, of a woman holding a baby boy. It was crinkled, and a little ripped and charred around the edges.  
  
"What the hell is this?" He thought.  
  
"What the hell is this?" Henry asked the next morning when he showed it to him.  
  
"Was he secretly married or something?"  
  
"I dunno, I just woke up last night and he was drinking a martini and looking at it."  
  
"Did he say anything?"  
  
"Not a word. I tried to see it, but he wouldn't let me; I had to take it from him when he was asleep."  
  
"Well who the hell could this be then?"  
  
Henry scratched his head.  
  
"I was not meant to be a psychiatrist."  
  
"But your not."  
  
"And I never will be!"  
  
He sighed.  
  
"I just wish I knew what was eatin' at him." 


	3. A Visit From Sidney

Chapter 3  
  
"Has he eaten anything?" Henry asked as he watched Hawkeye sleep.  
  
"Nothing except a martini." Trapper replied, putting on his boots.  
  
"Well he'll starve!"  
  
"What do you want me to do, hold a gun to his head and say 'eat or I'll shoot'?"  
  
"No no, nothing that drastic. Something like it wouldn't hurt."  
  
"He'll eat when he's ready. Just like he'll talk when he's ready."  
  
"Well when's he gonna be ready?"  
  
"Be patient Henry."  
  
"I want my head surgeon back!"  
  
"And I want my best friend back, but we can't do anything about it except wait."  
  
"Hello, is there a Colonel in the house?"  
  
"Sidney! You made it!"  
  
Sidney entered the Swamp and looked at Hawkeye.  
  
"Well, at least he looks O.K."  
  
"Yeah, but he's not O.K. on the inside." Trapper said. "Like Henry told you, he hasn't said anything since he got back. And last night I saw him looking at this."  
  
He handed Sidney the picture and he looked at it for a minute.  
  
"Hm. Could it be family, or a friend?"  
  
"I dunno, he never talked about anyone he knew having a baby. Though he hasn't talked about much lately."  
  
"Interesting. I'll have to wait till he wakes up to speak with him. He needs his rest."  
  
Henry poked Hawkeye.  
  
"Pierce. Wake up."  
  
"Henry!"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Well, until then, how about some poker?" Trapper asked.  
  
"Works for me." Sidney threw his jacket and the picture aside.  
  
An hour later they had been joined by Radar, Father Mulcahy, Klinger, and a nurse Trapper had invited in.  
  
"Well I'm out." Trapper threw down his cards. "What have you got Radar?"  
  
Radar, who had his back to Hawkeye, opened his mouth to say something, but turned around instead.  
  
"He's waking up!"  
  
Everyone turned and watched as Hawkeye stirred and slowly opened his eyes.  
  
Sidney pulled up a chair and sat beside him.  
  
"Hey Hawkeye, how you doing?"  
  
Hawkeye, still lying down, looked at Sidney, then continued to stare straight ahead.  
  
"Get a good sleep?"  
  
Still nothing.  
  
Hawkeye lifted his head and stared at all the faces watching.  
  
Sidney turned and stared as well.  
  
"I don't think he wants to be ogled like an animal in the zoo."  
  
"O.K. everybody, Sidney's right, let's go, move it, only psychiatrists and Colonels allowed." Henry pushed everyone towards the door.  
  
"Henry."  
  
"Alright, I'm going."  
  
Everyone filed out and Sidney turned back to Hawkeye who had gone back to staring off into space.  
  
"Hawkeye? C'mon I know you're in there, what's bothering you?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Hawkeye, it's me, Sidney. You can talk to me. No one else is here, no one's gonna hurt you."  
  
He shifted, but didn't say anything.  
  
"I know you're still in there, they guy everybody loves to hate, the practical joker, good friend and excellent surgeon."  
  
Sidney sighed.  
  
"C'mon Hawkeye. Everybody misses you. I do. Trapper, Henry, Radar, Father Mulcahy, and I betcha some of the nurses do too. Now tell me, what happened, what did you see?"  
  
Hawkeye looked at him and sat up.  
  
He looked at him for a minute, then got up and walked out the door, Sidney following.  
  
As the door slammed open, Henry, Trapper and Radar, who had their ears to the tent jumped and ran behind it.  
  
"Hawkeye, where are you going?"  
  
"I need to get something to eat." He spoke for the first time in three days.  
  
Henry, Trapper and Radar looked at each other, mouths open.  
  
"O.K., what do you want to eat?"  
  
"Well, whatever mom made. She's a great cook. Are you coming to dinner?"  
  
"Alright, do you want me to come?"  
  
"Sure, mom won't mind. We'd better hurry though, or she'll be mad."  
  
Sidney and Hawkeye headed to the mess tent, Henry, Radar and Trapper following.  
  
Inside, Sidney and Hawkeye ate some of the leftover food from breakfast.  
  
"Are they allowed to do that?" Radar asked.  
  
"It'll just be served next week anyway." Henry said.  
  
"Mom's food is usually better than this." Hawkeye commented. "And dad's usually here too."  
  
Sidney didn't have anything to say to that.  
  
"Aren't you gonna say something? You're pretty quiet."  
  
"There's not much to say."  
  
"Do you go to my school? I've never seen you before."  
  
"No, I don't go to your school. I'm home schooled."  
  
"That's very good." Trapper said.  
  
"Shut up." Henry hit him on the shoulder.  
  
"Well I have to go. I'll be seeing you later."  
  
"Aw, you have to go?"  
  
"Yeah I do. But like I said, I'll see you later."  
  
"O.K."  
  
Sidney put his tray back in the kitchen and left the mess tent, Radar, Henry and Trapper ran after him.  
  
"What's goin' on with him? He's acting like a little kid!" Henry said.  
  
"I'd noticed Henry."  
  
"Well what's going on?"  
  
"Sometimes when people go through something very traumatic, or something they can't handle mentally or physically, they go back to a more comfortable time in their lives to shield them from what's going on around them."  
  
"So you mean Hawk's 10 years old again?!" Trapper asked.  
  
"Well I dunno about 10, but it would seem that way."  
  
"Wowee! That means he hasn't gone to med. School or anything!" Radar said. "And that means he doesn't remember any of us."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Well what're we gonna do?" Trapper asked.  
  
"Take care of him."  
  
"Take care of him?"  
  
"Yes, we have to take care of him as though her were 10 years old, but we have to try and get the older Hawkeye to come back."  
  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
"And Trapper, since you share a tent with him, and are with him the most, you have to be his best friend and take care of him the most."  
  
"Easy enough. I was his best friend and had to take care of him most of the time anyway."  
  
"Other than that, all we can do is pray." 


	4. 7 Years Old

Chapter 4  
  
"C'mon Hawkeye, it's time for bed."  
  
Trapper led Hawkeye back to the Swamp.  
  
"I don't wanna go to bed!" He yelled, and ran off.  
  
"Hawk!"  
  
He sighed.  
  
"I guess it's not gonna be so easy."  
  
He ran after him, but Hawkeye was nowhere in sight.  
  
"Hawkeye! Where'd you go?"  
  
"You'll never find me!"  
  
His taunting voice came from the direction of the showers.  
  
Trapper opened the door casually and strolled in.  
  
"I guess I'll never find him."  
  
He checked every stall, but no Hawkeye. He glanced at the corner and saw a figure huddled underneath a towel.  
  
He strolled over, pulled the towel off, and dragged Hawkeye to his feet.  
  
"Come on, let's go."  
  
"NO!"  
  
Hawkeye squirmed and flailed his arms around, trying to get away again.  
  
Handling a 10 year old was hard enough, but a 10 year old in a man's body had to be the toughest job of all.  
  
"For god's sake, you're acting like your 7 years old!" Trapper said, keeping a firm grip on him.  
  
"Well DUH that's because I AM 7! You're so silly!"  
  
"Oh great! Sidney was wrong. I've got a 7 year old, not a 10 year old on my hands."  
  
"I don't WANNA go to bed!"  
  
Hawkeye thrashed some more and ended up punching Trapper in the face.  
  
"Whoa! You've got a mean punch! But I'm still not letting you go."  
  
"Aw!"  
  
"Do you do this to your dad? Every night?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well then, don't do it to me. Now come on."  
  
He dragged Hawkeye back to the Swamp and tucked him into his cot.  
  
"Goodnight Hawk."  
  
Trapper climbed into his own cot and closed his eyes.  
  
"Aren't you gonna tell me a story?"  
  
"A story?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Trapper sighed and sat up.  
  
"Once upon a time there was a man. He lived and he died. The End."  
  
And he flopped back down and closed his eyes.  
  
"I hate that story!"  
  
"So do I, now go to sleep and hate it in your dreams."  
  
"You're so mean!"  
  
"I know. I'm just cranky, I should be fine as soon as I get some sleep."  
  
At about one in the morning, Trapper once again woke up suddenly.  
  
"Why me?"  
  
He turned over and saw Hawkeye again sitting on the edge of his cot, staring at the picture, but no martini this time.  
  
"Hey, didn't Sidney have that?"  
  
He ignored him and kept staring at the picture.  
  
"Are you O.K.?"  
  
Once again, he was ignored.  
  
"Oh no, we're not going back to the silent stage are we?"  
  
He looked up at him; tears were in his eyes.  
  
"What is it Hawk, what's wrong?"  
  
Hawkeye handed him the picture.  
  
It was the same picture, a woman holding a baby boy.  
  
"Hawkeye, who's in this picture?"  
  
He held it up and pointed to it.  
  
"Who is that?"  
  
Tears ran down Hawkeye's face.  
  
"C'mon Hawk, you gotta tell me who's in the picture."  
  
He reached out to take the picture back, but Trapper pulled it away.  
  
"I'm not giving it back until you tell me who's in the picture."  
  
He just sat there, his arm still reaching.  
  
"C'mon, we wanna help you. We want you back. I miss you."  
  
Hawkeye's arm dropped.  
  
"Who is this? You gotta tell me."  
  
"I want my picture back."  
  
"Well, you're talking. That's progress. Will you tell me who this is?"  
  
He didn't say anything.  
  
"C'mon! Please, talk to me!"  
  
He held out his hand.  
  
"O.K., I'll be right back."  
  
Trapper, still holding the picture, left the Swamp and knocked on the door of Sidney's tent.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sidney, it's Trapper."  
  
"Trapper, it's ten after one in the morning, what do you want?"  
  
"It's Hawkeye, he's gone all weird on me again."  
  
He opened the door.  
  
"What do you mean, 'gone all weird'? I thought acting like a ten year old was weird en0ugh."  
  
"Well actually he's 7, and he punched me in the face. But anyway, he was looking at this again."  
  
He gave him the picture.  
  
"I asked him who it was over and over, but he only said he wanted the picture back."  
  
"Well, the person in the picture must be very important to him."  
  
"I just wish I knew who it was."  
  
"Come on. If he's still awake I'll try and talk to him."  
  
Sidney and Trapper headed back to the Swamp, but when they got there, everything was trashed and Hawkeye was gone.  
  
"Frank?" Trapper looked under some things and looked around. "Frank?"  
  
He heard a whimper, looked under Frank's cot, and saw him there, holding the picture of his mother.  
  
"It's O.K. Frank, you can come out now."  
  
"Is the maniac gone?"  
  
"Maniac?"  
  
Frank climbed out and got to his feet.  
  
"I was asleep, just asleep, when I heard a loud noise and saw Hawkeye throwing things around and ripping the whole tent apart. I asked what he was doing and he threw the still at me! So I hid under my cot, then when he stopped he said 'I'm going now', mumbled something I couldn't hear, then said 'don't tell Frank'."  
  
"That's a very interesting story. Did he say where he was going?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Go to sleep Frank."  
  
After searching the entire camp, Sidney and Trapper still couldn't find him.  
  
"Should we tell Henry?" Trapper asked.  
  
"In the morning."  
  
"It is morning."  
  
"O.K., lets go then."  
  
"Henry!" Trapper knocked on the door. "Henry wake up!"  
  
Henry opened the door.  
  
"What in the hell do you think you're doing? It's 2:30 in the morning! Now what do you want? I have a pillow waiting for me."  
  
"Hawkeye's gone."  
  
"What do you mean he's gone?"  
  
"He's gone Henry, we can't find him, he disappeared, can't be seen, vanished, ran away, poof he's not there."  
  
"O.K., I get the picture. Did you search the camp?"  
  
"Yep, can't find him."  
  
"Well this is just fine and dandy, first he takes a trip to silent world, then a trip back to the good old days, and now he's taken a trip to who knows where!"  
  
He had just finished saying that, when two MP's came over, holding Hawkeye.  
  
"He was trying to leave camp, said something like 'I have to get home to see her'."  
  
"Who's 'her'?"  
  
"I dunno sir."  
  
"O.K., we can take it from here."  
  
The MP's released Hawkeye and left.  
  
"Pierce, what were you doing trying to leave camp?"  
  
"I have to go see her."  
  
"See who?"  
  
"I have to go."  
  
"No you don't, who do you need to see?"  
  
He stood there for a minute, then said something.  
  
"She's gone?"  
  
"Who's-"  
  
"But how can she be gone? Didn't she fight?"  
  
Sidney, Trapper and Henry realized they were hearing a conversation, but only one side of it.  
  
"Then why is she gone?"  
  
"I know that! You said she was strong enough to get through anything!"  
  
"You lied!"  
  
"NO, you did! You said that, and it wasn't true! Now she's gone and I'll never see her again!"  
  
He fell to the ground, curled up into the fetal position and cried.  
  
Henry turned to Sidney.  
  
"Sidney, what the hell was that?" 


	5. Putting the Pieces Together

Chapter 5  
  
After getting a stretcher and returning Hawkeye to his cot, Henry asked Sidney the same question.  
  
"It sounded like he was reliving the death of someone close to him."  
  
"Well who died?"  
  
"We'll concentrate on that later. Right now we have to find out what happened during the shelling."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because obviously something happened to make him reflect on the death of someone important, now let's go!"  
  
They left the Swamp, Sidney leading.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"Radar."  
  
"What does he have to do with this?"  
  
"He should know who was with Hawkeye during the shelling."  
  
"Well when they left, it was only him and the driver."  
  
"Good, now we'll find out what happened to him."  
  
They went into the office and Sidney went over to where Radar was sleeping.  
  
"Radar, wake up."  
  
He rolled over.  
  
"I can't go to school today, I'm sick."  
  
He tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Radar, wake up!"  
  
He sat up quickly.  
  
"He made me do it!"  
  
Trapper laughed and leaned on the wall to keep from falling over.  
  
"Oh, be quiet!"  
  
Radar put on his glasses and looked at Sidney.  
  
"What?"  
  
"We need you to tell us what happened to the driver, the one who was driving Hawkeye's jeep during the shelling."  
  
"Well how am I supposed to know? I wasn't there!"  
  
His expression changed.  
  
"Oh yeah,"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well he uh, sorta died."  
  
"Tell me everything about him."  
  
"Well I don't know anything, I don't even know his name!"  
  
"C'mon Radar, think."  
  
"Well, he was wearing a wedding ring, so he was married. Oh, and they found this picture, it was of a lady and a baby."  
  
"Thanks Radar, that's all I needed to know."  
  
"You can go back to sleep now." Trapper said.  
  
They walked out and Radar's mouth dropped open.  
  
"Is that all I am to you? Some thing you can wake up in the middle of the night, ask for information about dead people, then tell it to go back to sleep? See if I ever help you again!"  
  
He shouted, then threw his head back onto his pillow.  
  
"Ow! My glasses!"  
  
"You know, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to leave Hawk alone again." Trapper said.  
  
They hurried back to the Swamp, but Hawkeye was still on his cot, sleeping like a baby.  
  
"At least he's getting his rest. I'll speak to him in the morning, let's go Henry. Trapper, make sure he doesn't leave. Good night. Or should I say good morning."  
  
"See ya." Trapper said as they left, then turned to Hawkeye. "And now to make sure you don't go anywhere, while I sleep."  
  
Five minutes later, he had constructed a simple, but useful. something.  
  
If Hawkeye opened the door, it would pull a string that was attached to a martini glass above Trappers cot, and the string would pull the glass over, tipping three olives onto Trapper's face.  
  
"Easy, yet effective."  
  
He threw himself onto his cot and quickly fell asleep.  
  
The next day Trapper, Henry and Sidney were still asleep at 9:30, exhausted from the earlier that morning. At 9:45 Trapper woke up, groaned, and turned to Hawkeye's cot. He was sitting on his footlocker, staring at the string that was attached to the door.  
  
"Hey Hawk, awake already?"  
  
He kept staring at the string.  
  
"Here, I can get rid of that now, I'm awake."  
  
He put his bathrobe on and untied the string. Leaving all three olives in the glass, he poured himself a drink, then one for Hawkeye out of habit. He was about to give it to him, but stopped himself.  
  
"Wait, how old are you?"  
  
He held up ten fingers.  
  
"O.K."  
  
He drank Hawkeye's drink, then sipped his own.  
  
"So. How you feeling today?"  
  
"O.K. I guess."  
  
"Good, you're talking to me."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"When Sidney wakes up he's gonna wanna talk to you."  
  
"Who's Sidney?"  
  
"Oh uh, the guy you ate with yesterday."  
  
"Oh, him."  
  
"Yeah. Do you um, remember saying anything last night?"  
  
"NO. I was asleep."  
  
"O.K. just wondering. You hungry?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"C'mon, let's go. I must warn you though, the food is less than filling and even less appetizing."  
  
He led Hawkeye to the mess tent, trying to keep everything as normal as possible.  
  
He got Hawkeye and himself some food, and sat at the table nearest the doors.  
  
Hawkeye made a face.  
  
"This food is awful."  
  
"I know, but it's all we've got."  
  
"Trapper,"  
  
Sidney entered the tent.  
  
"Oh hey Sidney."  
  
He sat across from them.  
  
"He's feeling better?"  
  
"Yeah. He's ten, by the way."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
He turned to Hawkeye.  
  
"Hawkeye, would it be O.K. if I talked to you?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"O.K., come on."  
  
Back at the Swamp, Sidney sat Hawkeye down on his cot and sat on Trapper's.  
  
"So," He began. "How're you feeling?"  
  
"I'm fine. But the food gave me a stomach ache."  
  
"It'll do that. You're ten right?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"That's a good age."  
  
His eyes dropped to the floor.  
  
"Not for me."  
  
"Why, what's wrong?"  
  
He sniffed.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"If something's bothering you, you can tell me."  
  
Hawkeye kept staring at the floor.  
  
"Did something happen?"  
  
Still staring at the floor he said nothing.  
  
"You can trust me."  
  
"I can't trust anybody! They lie. He lied to me!"  
  
"Who lied to you?"  
  
"He lied and now she's gone!"  
  
Tears started to roll down his cheeks.  
  
"It's O.K., who's gone?"  
  
He let out a sob.  
  
"Dad lied to me!"  
  
Sidney heard this and began to piece everything together.  
  
"Tell me what happened."  
  
He shut his eyes and shook his head.  
  
"No."  
  
"You have to tell me, what happened?"  
  
"No! I won't talk about it and it'll go away! She left me, I don't want to see her! I don't want to see anybody!"  
  
"Hawkeye, you have to tell me, you have to face it."  
  
"NO! You can't make me!"  
  
"Then I'll tell you. All your life you were told she could get through anything, stronger than all her foes. Then, she died. Your mother left you and you felt your father lied to you. You were also upset that your mother"  
  
"Left me." Hawkeye continued. "She left me, dad lied to me. I don't want to see either of them!"  
  
He began to cry, loud heart-wrenching sobs.  
  
"I didn't go to her funeral, I never said goodbye! I never forgave dad!"  
  
He drew a shuddering breath.  
  
"I love you dad, I'm sorry, it's O.K.! You didn't lie! I love you mom, I love you! You were the best mom in the world and I miss you! Goodbye."  
  
He began to cry uncontrollably and Sidney tried to comfort him.  
  
After a while he cried himself to sleep and Sidney left. 


	6. Welcome Back Hawkeye

Chapter 6  
  
The roar of a jeep pulling into camp past the Swamp caused Hawkeye to open his eyes.  
  
"Finally, you're awake."  
  
Hawkeye turned and saw Trapper shaving.  
  
"It's four in the afternoon. You were out like a light. I hope you enjoyed you little nap."  
  
Hawkeye rubbed his face.  
  
"Don't worry Trap, I feel as if I haven't slept in days."  
  
Trapper turned, a look of shock on his face.  
  
"You know me?"  
  
"No Trapper, I don't know my best friend."  
  
Trapper threw down his razor and hugged him.  
  
"Hey, you're back!"  
  
"Where'd I go?"  
  
He let him go.  
  
"You've been insane for the past few days!"  
  
"What? No I haven't!"  
  
"Would I lie to you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Look, If you don't believe me, just ask Henry, Radar and especially Sidney."  
  
Hawkeye stared at him for a minute.  
  
"You're serious aren't you?"  
  
"Yes! You've been acting like you were ten years old!"  
  
"Ten?"  
  
He sighed.  
  
"I've missed a lot haven't I?"  
  
"Sidney!" Trapper banged on the door of his tent.  
  
He heard him groan.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
He opened the door.  
  
"I was trying to catch up on some sleep that I lost."  
  
"Sorry Sidney. Anyway, it's Hawkeye, he's back!"  
  
"Great, where is he?"  
  
"He's sleeping, he said he feels like he hasn't slept in days."  
  
He went into his tent.  
  
"Sure, come on in."  
  
Sidney shut the door.  
  
"So what happened anyway?" Trapper asked. "Why'd he come back so soon?"  
  
Sidney rubbed his eyes and sat on his cot.  
  
"I dunno. I guess seeing the driver die and leave a son behind made him reflect on the death of his mother when she left him. He was angry and he never said goodbye. I guess after he forgave his father and said goodbye to his mother he was fine. He just needed closure."  
  
He heard a knock on the door and groaned again.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hey, it's Hawkeye, can I come in?"  
  
"Sure Hawk, come on in."  
  
He opened the door and went in. He was wearing his bathrobe inside out and looked very tired.  
  
"Hey Hawkeye, how're you feeling?"  
  
"Fantastic. You mind telling me what I've been up to for the past few days, because I remember squat."  
  
"Sure. Trapper, go away."  
  
"Sidney, I'm shocked!"  
  
"What can I say, I'm sleep deprived."  
  
Three days later, after Hawkeye was up to date and back to his old self, Sidney prepared to leave the 4077th.  
  
Before he left, Henry called him into his office.  
  
"Hey Sidney, I uh just wanted to thank you for helping Pierce and getting everything back to normal."  
  
"Sir," Klinger entered his office, looking very angry. "Sir, someone's stolen my navy evening dress! I demand you do something!"  
  
"Well, as normal as it was before."  
  
"Your welcome Henry. I just hope I never have to go through that again. It was very interesting, confusing and exhausting."  
  
"Sir!"  
  
"Not now Klinger. C'mon Sidney, you'll miss you're chopper."  
  
"Sir!"  
  
"I'll find your dress Klinger."  
  
Radar was at the desk, typing.  
  
"Radar, you wanna help Sidney with his bags."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Thanks Ra- what?"  
  
"I said nope."  
  
"No? You've never said that before!"  
  
"There's a first time for everything sir. Oh and by the way, you got two calls. One from your wife and one from General Clayton. I told them you were talking to a psychiatrist."  
  
Henry's jaw dropped.  
  
"Radar, what's gotten into you?"  
  
"I dunno sir. Maybe next time you'll think twice before waking me in the middle of the night, then telling me to go back to sleep like I'm not important."  
  
"Aw, come on Radar, you know you're important to us! Did you really tell General Clayton I was talking to a psychiatrist?"  
  
"You'd better believe it. He said it was about time."  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
"Sir, Sidney's gonna miss his chopper."  
  
"Yeah, thanks Radar."  
THE END  
A/N: O.K., I know it was an abrupt ending, and probably the worst ending ever, but cut me some slack, I was tired. And guess what? It's the first long story ever that I've actually finished! YAY! 


End file.
